Leave of Absence

Hello dear readers,
The time has come for me to take a break from the blog because my vertigo is only getting worse, and it's making it very difficult for me to concentrate on creating smartass commentary. Hopefully it will go away soon and I'll be back on top of my game, but until then you can keep up to date with my high jinks at http://spdracerx.tumblr.com.

Pep Boys Has A Sense Of Irony

This commercial from Pep Boys is not exactly "ha ha" funny but a certain aspect of it does make me laugh. The basic premise is that the customer doesn't trust the "Buy 3 and Get the 4th Tire Free" promotion, and he is made to look stupid in the process. That's supposed to be the funny part, but I'm more amused by the fine print at the bottom of the screen when the clerk confirms that the tire is "free free."

That's right, a disclaimer. After mail-in rebate when you purchase 4 installed tires. Must include tire installation package. Some restrictions apply. Apparently Mr. Skeptical had every reason to doubt you, jackass.

Note to Pep Boys: If you're going to make an ad which portrays your customers as idiots, you might want to make sure you don't end up looking like a bunch of dicks yourselves.

A New Definition For "Auto-Erotica"

This has got to be one of the more subtly disturbing ads I've seen in a long time. It starts out innocently enough but quickly takes a turn for the bizarre when the lady strongly hints that she has an extremely unhealthy relationship with her car.

Now, I'm not normally one to judge, but I've seen the movie Christine. This sort of thing does not end well.

I'm Gonna Steal A Ton Of Beer

I admit that I actually like these Miller High Life ads both because of the message behind them and also the beer itself. At the same time, isn't this guy just stealing beer from places?

Honest to God, I have a Miller High Life work shirt that I bought at a thrift store in Vegas and at least once or twice I have been mistaken for the "beer man." If these commercials are accurate, I could just walk in to a snooty club or restaurant and jack them for all their High Life. All I would need is a dolly and the ability to keep a straight face for about fifteen minutes. Party at my place this weekend!

Oh. My. God.

I had a feeling when I started this blog that it was going to take me to some dark, sinister places I wouldn't otherwise go. I never thought for a moment, though, that commercials such as this actually existed. How could a benevolent God allow it to happen? What did I do to deserve having this song stuck in my head for hours?

On a different note, wouldn't it be fun to dress up on Halloween as a 19th century chimney sweep and spend the night talking in a cockney accent? "Shine ya' boots, guvnah?" Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Another Excuse To Post About Sonic

My last post about Sonic commercials alerted me to the fact that there actually are Sonics in the vicinity of Richmond, so I satisfied my craving at lunch today. The resulting foodgasm has helped me ignore the vertigo I'm suffering and the fact that my CT scan got denied by my insurance company.

As far as this ad goes, it's probably my favorite Sonic commercial ever. Rest assured that my meal did not suffer from any weak tot action.

In Honor Of My Vertigo

Do you see what I did there? The name of the song is the same as the affliction that I've now had twice in three months. Clever, huh? Well, if you've been paying attention to my tumblelog (and very few of you have), you'd realize I've made similar references before. Give me a break, though, I'm dizzy.